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WONDERING HOW TO address your guests?
this guide will help explain how honorifics work, and when to use them
Addressing your wedding invitation envelopes can be a daunting task. We're here to help! It's critical to address your envelopes only to those who are invited. This will help avoid any confusion for you, or your guests.
This guide will help explain common honorifics (Mr., Mrs., Ms., Miss, ect.) and when to use them. An honorific is a title that conveys esteem, courtesy, or respect for position or rank when used in addressing or referring to a person. It's traditional to use honorifics when addressing your wedding envelopes. It sets a tone of formality and respect when inviting your guests to celebrate with you!
Who gets an invitation?
It can be difficult to figure out the nuances of who is sent an invitation to your wedding. It is critical to list only those who are invited to the wedding to avoid any confusion for your guests.
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Married couples get a single invitation
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Couples with children under the age of 18 can also get a single invitation
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Couples who are dating but not living together can be invited together by sending the invitation to the person you are closest to, but you may also choose to send each person an invitation
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Children under 18 can be listed on their parent's invitation
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Children over the age of 18 who live on their own get their own invitation
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Children over the age of 18 who live in a multi-generational home get their own invitation
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Children invited with a guest get their own invitation
Formal vs. informal addressing
Using formal addressing is traditional, and recommended. Unless your event is very relaxed, err on the side of formality. For married couples it is traditional to only list the man’s name, however many couples opt for a more modern approach and include both names.
Formal Example:
Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
or
Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Smith
1234 Street Road
New Hope, Pennsylvania 18938
Informal Example:
John and Jane Smith
1234 Street Road
New Hope, Pennsylvania 18938
Common honorifics for married couples
A Married Couple
Mr and Mrs. John Smith
Or Mr. and mrs. John and Jane Smith
Or Mrs. and Mrs. Jane and Judy Smith
A Married Couple with Different Last Names
The person you are closer with should come first in this situation
Mrs. Jane Smith and Mr. John Doe
A Hyphenated Last Name is always listed last
Mr. John Doe and Mrs. Jane Smith-Doe
A family with children
can be listed as “Family” or by mentioning the couple or parents and the children on a second line. It’s optional to use salutations if the children are under age 18.
The Smith Family
Or Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
Lisa, Jane, and Joe
Married Doctors with Different Last names
Note: the title Doctor is reserved for medical doctors and ministers with advanced degrees
Usually the woman’s name is listed first or in alphabetical order
Doctor Jane Smith and Doctor John Doe
Married Doctors with the same last name
The Doctors Smith
One partner is a doctor
Doctor and Mrs. John Smith
Doctor Jane Smith and Mr. John Smith
One partner is a Judge
The Honorable Mrs. Jane Smith and Mr. John Smith
The Honorable and Mrs. John Smith
A distinguished title
Clergy, rabbis, miliarty personel, ect. The person with the title is listed first, if both have a title the person with highest rank is listed first.
Rabbi and Mrs. John Smith
Captain Jane Smith and Major John Smith, US Army
Common honorifics for single and un-married guests
An un-Married Couple
List both guest’s names, you can list the person you are closer with first. If you are equally close with both guests, you can list guests alphabetically by last name.
Mr. James Doe and Mr. John Smith
a single man
If above 18 use “Mr.”
Mr. John Smith
If younger than 18, a salutation is optional
John Smith
a single Woman
If above 18 use “Ms.”
Mr. Jane Doe
If younger than 18, use Miss
Miss Jane Doe
A widow
Mrs. or Ms. is appropriate and depends on their preference, you may also list her late husabnd’s full name.
Mrs. John Doe
or Mrs. Jane Doe
or Ms. Jane Doe
A divorced woman
Ms. Is usually appropriate.
If they use their married last name us Mrs.
If they use their maiden name use Ms.
Common honorifics for non-binary guests, plus ones, and others
plus ones
“Guest” will be lower case on the envelope
Mr. James Smith and guest
Priest or deacon
Father James Smith
Deacon and Mrs. John Smith
non-binary guest or couple
And/or prefers they/them pronouns
Use Mx.
Mx. John Smith
Mr. John Smith and Mx. Jane Smith
Mx. and Mx. John and Jane Smith
Mr. and Mx. John and Jane Smith
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